


Come on now, I need your love

by KULIE



Series: Tell me how do you feel ? Tell me how do you need to heal ? [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 1d, Bad Love, Band, Best Friends, Break Up, Breathe, Hurt, Liam Payne - Freeform, London, Los Angeles, Love, M/M, Niall Horan - Freeform, Romance, Selfish, Shipping, Zayn Malik - Freeform, boyfriend - Freeform, friends - Freeform, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, one dire - Freeform, yours sincerely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 23:42:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3187652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KULIE/pseuds/KULIE
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I just wish I could turn back the time you know ? But let’s face the truth : I can’t undone what I did. And I hate it Louis. I hate it so much. I think I even hate myself sometimes.</p><p>Or 1 year and a half after their break-up, Harry comes back to Louis. At least he's trying to.</p><p>PART 2- Harry's POV</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come on now, I need your love

**Author's Note:**

> All thanks to the song "You Make Me Feel Brand New" by Simple Red.

Things were always so complicated Lou.

You always liked when things were complicated. You used to tell me "Haz. You know I’m only happy when it rains. When it’s complicated. It makes me feel good to feel so sad." Never got this if we’re being honest. Never got that part of you.

And look at where we are now. Things are complicated but you don’t seem to be happy Love.  
Worse than that, you look miserable and that’s surely because of me.  
I just wish I could turn back the time you know ? But let’s face the truth : I can’t undone what I did. And I hate it Louis. I hate it so much. I think I even hate myself sometimes.

_"Come on, It’s been a while. Just a couple of drinks !"_  
 _"Just to remember the good time."_

I can’t believe you actually said yes and are standing in front of me in that crappy bar. One Gin Tonic for you and one water for me. You used to hate Gin Tonic. Guess I don’t know you anymore. One year and a half is a long time, isn’t ? Did I do that to you ? You were so perfect Louis. So so perfect.

I am looking at you and I don’t understand what I did. Why I threw everything we had all away. I thought I was being so smart by leaving you and the guys behind. I think they hate me. Well maybe « hate » is a strong word but things are not like they used to be. I don’t know. I guess everything is different since I left you heartbroken. Seeing you like this…You broke my heart too Louis.

_"That’s not you, it’s me."_

I still remember how I ended things.  
I tried to tell you so many times ! But you looked at me like maybe I was an angel or something.  
That’s how I left you. Three sentence later I was gone. Must admit I have been relieved to see the softer side of L.A. Things were way too complicated for me in London. But I can understand how you'd be so confused. I didn’t warn you soon enough.

I see the way you are looking at me. Nervous, hurt and angry. Looks like I still know you a bit uh ? Anyway, can’t blame you can I ? I wonder if you hate me too sometimes. I just have too look at your eyes to KNOW you do. But don’t think I left you alone without looking behind me. I did Lou. I so did. They say we did wrong from the start. That we were way too young to know about forever. Do you think we were acting dumb by saying we’ll grow old together ? I knew you wanted two kids and a dog, that’s how you pictured us from the star. And I loved that plan. What happened to us L ?

How do you feel ? That’s the question I keep asking you in my head. I am too terrified to ask you for real. But don’t worry, I don’t expect an easy answer Love.  
Remember the song of ours, the one we used to listen to when we were young and already in love ? "Only you cared when I needed a friend. Believed in me through thick and thin. Whenever I was insecure you built me up and made me sure." I let you down Lou. You always have been here for me and when you needed me the most I packed my things and crossed an entire ocean.

 _"I miss you Lou."_  
God you have no idea don’t you ?  
I know you saw me in all those crapy magazines. The guys told me. Well, Liam did. Zayn isn’t talking much to me and Niall…Well Niall is Niall. Always trying to avoid the subject. Love him for that. Liam on the other side was the one who brought it on the table. Everytime. Can’t blame him. I guess he helped me open my eyes. But the things you saw Lou, they were all false stories. Most of them. All these women at my arms or in my bed ? Rumors.  
But I’ve been with other blokes, yes. They were so different from you Lou. I think that’s what I liked about them. But I didn’t spend so many time with them. I would spent the night and leave. Does that make me a bad person ? I heard some of them calling me a whore. Was I ? I mean, was I a whore for doing this ? Liam said I wasn’t but how objective can he be ? He’s my friend.  
You were too you know ? Even when we were together, you were my best friend. You were always so good to me. Always so careful.

The blokes I’ve been with ? They weren’t as lovely and attentive as you were. You were so thoughtful while they weren’t. But I guess no one could beat you right ? You’re so it for me.

The big L.A. I went there to have the time of my life. Who was I kidding ? I ruined everything. I was 16 when we started dating Louis. I was 16 and we were so young. You were my first everything. I though it would be good for me to see something else. Try somebody else. Taste some other men on my tongue. I guess they were right. I truly was a whore wasn’t I ?

I was so wrong.  
I got more than I could handle.

 _"I made a mistake Louis. I truly miss you. I think I missed you since the very beginning if I am being honest."_    
It's not like me to say sorry but I want you to know I am. I pictured a different story for us two. I’ve been wrong and you’ve been down all along.

This is all I have Loubear. All I have to give. Loubear. You used to hate the pet name remember ? I am sure you loved it as much as I did. As I do. You were just way too stubborn and proud to tell me otherwise. God I miss you.

 _"Remind me why we decided this was for the best again ?"_  
Oh I actually remember, don’t worry.  
I can see it in your eyes. The way you want to throw the table at my face. If we weren’t in this situation right now, I would laugh at you with all my heart and all my love. And god knows how much I love you. You never were a violent person. Way too kind to hurt me, even when I deserved it.

You want to punch me. I want to kiss you hard. How funny is that ?  
You want to slap me. I want to press you against the wall and show you how much I missed you. How pathetic is that ?

As I said I do remember. How it was MY decision. I just want you to react Louis. Say something. Insult me, cry, stand up and punch me but don’t stay here looking at me with wild eyes.  
Say it’s alright Louis and we’ll turn back the time. I am not sure I could make all the pain go away but I could try, if you wanted me to or needed me to ? Hell I want you to need me.

Do you know how much I want and need you ?  
From the very beginning you had me wrapped around your little finger. You always laughed at the fans when they said we fall in love in the bathroom. I know it wasn’t the case for you. But I guess your "Hi" was enough for me. I was 16 and you were so loud, carrying and lovely. And gorgeous. Of course you were.

_"Your T-Shirt lost its smell of you you know."_

As melodramatic as it sounds, it’s true. After one year and a half, what should I expect ? I can’t believe I spent almost two years without you.  
Do you think we lost those months for ever ? I think we did. But that doesn’t mean we can’t make it up for them. I promise to try. Do you too ?

 _"And I miss you. I miss you Love."_  
I keep rambling don’t I ?  
Fuck that. I did miss you and I still do.  
It's not like you didn't know that right ? I used to say "I love you" everyday and I swear I still do. I still love you.

I am a mess.  
And you are a beautiful one too.

 _"Lou…Louis ? If I wanted silence i would whisper. If I wanted loneliness I would chose to go. Come on Louis, if I didn’t love you you would know. Louis ? Please."_  
You’re not answering my words and it’s making me crazy.

 _"What are you laughing at ? Please be serious."_  
I know I hurt you but don’t do that to me Lou. Please don’t ?  
They told me you would laugh at me you know. Of course they did. They told me those crap things about you changing into a pale copy of yourself. How much is real Darling ? How much have you changed ?

_"Don’t act like you don’t know me Lou. It’s still me, I never changed. My goal is to reach your hands any day now. I’ll be here when you come back."_

It's just a different scene. It’s so different from what I pictured in my head. I know that look Lou. That smirky look. You can tell I am getting lost and unsecured as the night goes by.

Of course I am. You didn’t say a word.

I can’t even read your mind. How sad is that ? We used to be so good at that. We didn’t have to speak and here we are. You are not talking and I don’t know what to think about this situation.  
You are so stubborn Louis ! Always have, always will. That’s what they say right ? Always so true to yourself.  
That’s why I fell for you. Remember when I said those horrible words to you ?  "I fall out of love." You have no idea how I want to punch myself in the face for this. I can’t help but remember how hurt you looked that day.

But tomorrow I will change and yesterday won't mean a thing.   
Dont ever wanna have to go and give you up. Again.

I'll never find the words to tell you how I feel.  
The way I feel when I'm in your hands.  
But I guess I feel alright, having you here with me tonight.

**All I can say is look how strong you are Louis. So strong.**


End file.
